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Couples Counselling: What to Do When Your Partner Won’t Go

When relationships become strained, couples counselling can be a great way to help both parties learn how to resolve conflict and come to a better understanding. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to attend couples counselling, and it can be difficult to convince a partner to go. If your partner is refusing to go to couples counselling, there are still several steps you can take to try and help improve your relationship.

Debunk Common Myths about Couples Counselling

Couples counselling is one of the best ways to work through relationship issues and can be beneficial for both partners. Unfortunately, there are many myths and misconceptions about couples counselling that can keep couples from trying it. One of the most common myths is that couples counselling only works for couples in serious trouble. This isn’t true — couples counselling can be a helpful tool for any couple, whether facing major issues or simply wanting to work on communication and understanding. Couples counselling can also help couples who are facing separation or divorce learn how to end their relationship in a healthy way. By debunking some common myths about couples counselling, you might be able to change your partner's outlook on the subject and help them be more open to the idea of attending.

Try Relationship Exercises

Relationship exercises can be a great way to improve communication and restore trust in a relationship. They can help couples identify and address underlying issues that are causing problems in the relationship. Examples of relationship exercises include communication exercises, problem-solving exercises, and activities that encourage couples to express their feelings and thoughts in a safe and supportive environment. Communication exercises can be especially helpful for couples who are having difficulty expressing their feelings and needs to one another. By practicing communication exercises, couples can learn how to express themselves better, understand each other’s perspectives, and create a shared understanding of the relationship.

Problem-solving exercises can help couples identify and address issues that are causing stress in their relationship. These exercises allow couples to identify their differences and come up with solutions that work for both of them. Activities that encourage couples to express their feelings and thoughts can also be beneficial. These activities can help couples become more aware of their emotions and better understand how their partner feels. Couples can also use these activities to practice expressing their needs and feelings in a respectful and supportive way. Relationship exercises can be a great way to improve communication and restore trust in a relationship.

Have an Honest and Open Conversation with Your Partner

Having an honest and open conversation with your partner is an essential part of a healthy relationship. Being honest with your partner about how you feel and what your expectations and needs are can help both of you understand each other better and work towards a better relationship. It is important to remember to be open and honest in conversations rather than avoiding difficult topics or glossing over things that may be difficult to talk about.

It is also important to make sure your partner is comfortable with the conversation and is willing to talk. Respectful communication is key, and it is important to ensure that both partners feel heard and respected. If one partner is not comfortable talking about certain topics, take the time to have a separate conversation to discuss them. Don’t force your partner to have a conversation they don’t want to have. By having an honest and open conversation with your partner, you can build a stronger relationship and create a better understanding of each other.

Final Thoughts

Couples counselling is a great option for couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationship and are looking for a way to work through their issues. It can provide an opportunity to improve communication, increase understanding of one another and work to create a strong and healthy relationship. However, not everyone is open to couples therapy. And if your partner is currently unwilling to go, there are still some things you can do to improve your relationship in the meantime. Ultimately, it's important to respect your partner’s decision and work to ensure that both of you are comfortable with the outcome.


Improve your relationship with the help of the West End Counselling Centre. We are a boutique counselling practice that provides relationship counselling in Vancouver. Our therapists use a variety of traditional psychotherapeutic modalities — psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioural, existential and narrative — with mindfulness-based practices and somatic (body-based) therapies. Book a free consultation now!


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