When is the Right Time for Couples Counselling?

Written by Stephanie Beck, CCC. Stephanie is a Vancouver-based relationship counsellor who provides in-person and online counselling services for couples.

This question is one that finds itself bouncing in many brains. How do you know? When you argue too much? Or maybe when you realize you aren’t effectively communicating. Has yelling or shutting down become your norm? Or when the word divorce first comes out?

If you are feeling or experiencing any of those, your relationship is not healthy. You both need guidance to work through your conflicts, learn healthy communication, and rebuild your crumbling foundation.

You need to unlearn negative behaviours, words, and actions. It should be replaced with healthy, effective responses that will benefit you both.

As a couple and as an individual, you will learn how to love yourself and others. Discover how to communicate through a respectful lens and bond every chance you can. You will experience an improvement in your relationship as you grow together. Is there anything better than growing with the love of your life?

Looking deeper at negative behaviours

Recognizing negative behaviours, feelings, and actions is important in understanding and improving your relationship. Some common negative behaviours you or your partner might display:

• Shutting down

• Not spending quality time together

• Making other people a priority over your partner

• Not resolving conflict

• Unhealthy communication

• Lack of bonding

• Being dismissive of your partner’s feelings

• Criticism

• Accusation statements

• Lying

• Disrespect

• No intimacy

Have you or your partner displayed any of these actions? It is incredibly hurtful when either person feels disregarded, shut out, or uncomfortable for any reason. There are many ways a relationship can struggle. Both partners need to find a healthy balance, be equal partners, and learn how to grow together.

What will your relationship get out of counselling?

There are many benefits to couples counselling including increased intimacy, improved communication skills, and a greater understanding of your partner’s needs.

Couples counselling is recommended for everyone. Yes, that’s right. Everyone will benefit from couples counselling. We never stop learning, growing, and developing. It is important to always improve for ourselves, our partner, and our families. Gaining knowledge on how relationships work, communication, and rewiring your brain to respond to conflicts healthily is important. It will provide a happier lifestyle, where you have the opportunity to enjoy each other, work through stressors, and create a deep connection with your partner to cherish for years.

Counselling will help both partners understand the other’s perspective and discover better communication. Counselling also helps partners work through feelings of resentment, guilt, and anger that may have built up.

Is it time for couples counselling?

Yes, absolutely. The time is now. No matter the state of your relationship. Every single person will benefit. Growing and learning individually and as a couple. These newfound tools will give you what you need to work through conflicts, enjoy each other, and bond daily. Take back your relationship, leave the unhealthy versions of yourselves.

There is nothing to lose just powerful knowledge to learn. If you are ready for more information on how to get started, check out this page: https://www.westendcounselling.ca/marriage-and-relationship-issues .